What makes for a healthy romantic
relationship differs from couple to couple. Forming a trusting and positive
partnership takes effort and time. And unfortunately, it doesn’t just happen
overnight. For any relationship to grow strong and stay strong, you need to put
in some work. Below are some habits that will help create and maintain a happy
and healthy twosome.
1. Communication
Communication
is key. It is one of the most important qualities a healthy relationship.
However, not everyone knows how to communicate properly ... or even communicate
at all. Happy and healthy couples have this game down. They vocalize their love
for one another, saying “I love you” often and offering compliments. They also
discuss the bad instead of sweeping issues under the rug. In order to move
forward and grow, you two need to be able to truly talk about your feelings. No
matter how awkward or uncomfortable it feels, it will make for a long-lasting
and fulfilling relationship.
2. Respect
Aretha
Franklin sang a whole song about it, so you know it’s got to be important.
Respecting your partner comes in many forms. Maintaining a joyful relationship
means respecting your partner’s time, heart, character, and trust. However,
there are many things people do in relationships that can break down respect,
like name-calling, talking negatively about the other to friends or family,
and/or threatening to leave the relationship.
3. Quality Time, Not
Quantity
It’s all
about quality over quantity. It doesn’t matter how much time you and your
partner spend together. The most important part is about the quality of this
time. There’s a huge difference between having dinner at a table while talking
about your day at work, versus having dinner while sitting on a couch watching
the latest episode of The Voice. It’s fine to zone out together
and enjoy distractions, but it’s crucial to make sure you two are still
engaging and spending quality time together to maintain a deep connection.
4. Time Apart
Spending
time together with your partner is important. But just as important is spending
time apart. Being able to do your own things and remain independent is vital.
When couples spend too much time together, it can create an unhealthy
co dependence. Maintaining healthy boundaries and some autonomy will make for a
long-lasting partnership.
5. Love Languages
Gary
Chapman came up with the notion that men and women have five love languages.
People have unique ways of feeling loved. There are words of affirmation,
receiving gifts, quality time, acts of service, and physical touch. It’s
important to know which love language speaks to you, along with your partner.
Telling each other what makes you feel loved and special helps both of you stay
connected. Furthermore, make sure you are attending to your partner’s love
language consistently.
6. Appreciation
Often, we
forget to let other people in our lives know that we appreciate them. We think
it, but we don't remember to show it. This occurs in our romantic relationships
as well. Show your special someone that you love him or her. This could be done
with words, cards, flowers, acts of kindness, or more. Remember, a flower a day
keeps the fights at bay. Okay, maybe not every day, but you get the point.
7. Positive vs. Negative
Sometimes,
we get caught up in the negative. We hate our jobs, are annoyed with our
friends, and our boyfriend or girlfriend is getting on our last nerve. Uh-oh,
have we been drinking too much of that half-empty glass? It’s vital that we
look at our partner’s positive qualities, in contrast to the negative. Nobody
is perfect, and that includes our significant other. So instead of focusing on
the bad, let's make a conscious effort to look at the good.
8. Choose Your Battles
There are
arguments to be had in every relationship. It’s crucial to bring issues to the
forefront, and work through the hard times together. However, I don’t think
arguing over your SO using your favorite coffee cup should be one of those.
Choose your battles wisely, because people in happy and healthy relationships
do.
9. Sex
Let’s talk
about sex baby. Let’s also talk
about how important it is in cultivating a flourishing relationship. Sex is
simple. The more you have it, the more you want it. The other side of that is
true as well. The less you have it, the less you want it — and, unfortunately,
the less you'll feel connected to your partner. Keep your sex life alive and
interesting. "Spicing it up" is not just meant for the kitchen.
10. No Comparisons
The grass
isn’t always greener on the other side. Or even if it is, it might not be the
kind of grass you would like. We often compare our lives to those of others —
what jobs people have, their homes, and their clothes. And with the help of
social media, we tend to compare our relationships as well. But the happiest of
couples don’t look to see what the grass looks like on the other side. They are
happy with the view out their own front door.